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I'm having an affair..
by MiseryBusiness @ 2007-12-13 - 18:56:57

That wasn't just a attention-grabber. That was the truth.

Well.. not 100%, since it's not me that's cheating on their partner, but i'm half of the affair. In case you couldn't tell from my age, i'm 19, and the man with whom i'm having an affair is 41 years old. He's also my boss. I know, i've really put my foot in it.

I didn't know he had a wife until it was too late to stop it. He had never worn his wedding ring at work (I now know that was done on purpose), and I guess i just thought.. he wouldn't lie.

So, yes, anyway.. i'll never say his name, his wife's name or his children's names (he has two children.. their both my age!). If i need to refer to them by name, i'll use the first letter of their name. I just feel like I need to get out my frustration about it all somehow. I want to get out of this situation, because I feel bad, but I feel stuck.

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MistakenIdentityMistakenIdentity [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 19:10

Don't beat yourself up about it too much. He's the one that's in the marriage for a start. I'm in a similar situation and I understand it's hard but the best thing to do is distance yourself a bit and take time for your own thoughts. x

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MiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:15

Yeah, i did that for a bit.. he has this way of getting under my skin and making me terrified.. then i go to him myself and he gets that goddamn smug look on his face..

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la_spicela_spice [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 19:58

Three words of advice:

Walk away now!

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MiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:11

He'd be able to kick me out of my job.. I can't afford that..

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la_spicela_spice [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:20

That's blackmail!

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MiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:21

I know.. that started once i found out about his wife.. he knows i'm afraid of failing, and that i'm too timid to stand up for myself, and he's been using that for a few months.

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la_spicela_spice [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:24

You need to find another job and put some distance between you.

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MiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:28

Yeah.. i just want to get away from him..

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la_spicela_spice [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:37

Be strong and professional at work and look around for something else. Avoid being on your own with him and don't give him any opportunity to take things any further - he'll soon get bored.

Why not 'invent' a boyfriend or better still go out and enjoy yourself - who knows you might just find someone who really cares for you!

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MiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness [Member]
2007-12-13 @ 20:44

Things have gone pretty far already hun..

I think i may have found that person already.. and if my situation was different i'd go for it, sicne i know what i'm feeling for the new person is the real thing, not just a schoolgirl crush or lustings.

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mwnngmwnng [Member]
2007-12-14 @ 01:05

in several ways, you could really screw him up over this *evil thoughts* he is playing phycological mind games with you, you just gotta dance the merry dance

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MiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness [Member]
2007-12-14 @ 08:30

hah, don't you think i've done the evil thinking moment? If i could actually DO what i'm thinking, that would help.

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mwnngmwnng [Member]
2007-12-18 @ 03:00

you can do what you are thinking in many ways, he just thinks that he has power over you and is leading you on a bit cos he tyhinks he is much greater and could possibally get you fired for telling, but there is no way he can do that, people like this you just have to play them at their own game

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RooticaleeRooticalee [Member]
http://www.che-lives.com/home/
2007-12-14 @ 01:36

What's the latest? Have you blown him out? I agree with la spice. I think he's probably using you. Try and imagine the hurt it would cause his wife and kids if they found out. I hope you can resolve this without getting hurt yourself but I doubt it will be ever anything more than a secret affair. Hope you got it sorted. :)

neonmeatdreamsneonmeatdreams [Member]
2007-12-14 @ 11:33

I think anyone who could cheat on his wife and kids is a b*stard. He's lied to you from the start by not telling you he was married and he sounds like a manipulator. Give him the boot and if he does threaten your job then you've got the trump card cause you can threaten to tell his family. You can always get a new job but he can't replace a lost family.

Ali [Visitor]
http://HeidiHi
2008-02-12 @ 22:30

I have a major problem. This guy (my senior manager, but not my boss) and i have become really good friends. I have been helping him out with some personal problems (nothing to do with his family) but things have started to change. Weve been emailing and stuff outside of work, and then suddently he tells me that he loves me, will leave his wife and kids for etc etc. Im 21 and he's 48 ... i really love him, wanna be with him, every second of the day. But what should i do??? I've told him, that his dreams can never happen, even if he does really love me, after all he has a family and i have a boyfriend of 2 years. THE REAL PROBLEM IS I REALLY LOVE HIM TOO ... WHAT DO I DO. He text's me all day and I love receiving his charming comments. Sometimes i get all defencive and tell him that it's wrong, but deep down i feel bad. HELP ME! p.s. he has also told me that he wants to take me on holiday, and someone at work i believe is onto us ... not that nothing has officially happened yet!

mylipstickmylipstick [Member]
2008-07-25 @ 23:14

First of the rules ever - never have romance at work, no matter with single or married guy. Just never. It makes your life complicated, putting you in stupid and embaracing situation when the truth came up, and might end in loosing the job. Is it worth ? great sex, feeling emotionally dizzy, and other butterflies.. pretty sweet, but as you see, mens are bloody liers! I keep the light of the hope for you, as long as you realise there's nothing about that relation worth to play. Just end it. Get rid of this guy as fast as you can. When the wife and children are involved you just cannot win. Believe. Good luck.

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